


and when I walk away (you take off runnin’ and come right after me)

by orphan_account



Series: all you have to do is stay [2]
Category: Captain America (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Beefy Bucky Barnes, Bottom Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Depressed Steve Rogers, Dom Bucky Barnes, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Sex, Endearments, Everything is Beautiful and Everything Hurts, Happy Ending, Hurt Steve Rogers, Light Dom/sub, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Making Love, Multiple Orgasms, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Overstimulation, Pet Names, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Prostate Milking, Protective Avengers, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protectiveness, Reunited and It Feels So Good, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Steve Rogers Feels, Stucky - Freeform, Sub Steve Rogers, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Top Bucky Barnes, Virgin Steve Rogers, implied suicidal thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-03 01:44:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10957098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “Why doesn’t he love me?” Steve sobbed, clinging onto her tightly, “why doesn’t he want me?”Natasha hugged him closer, hiding her own tears in his shoulder. She hated seeing him cry and the sound of his broken voice, the crestfallen look on his face and the way his eyes welled with tears, made her own heart drop. She wanted to take his pain away but she couldn’t shield him from this. She couldn’t protect him from a broken heart.Steve fell asleep, like he did for many nights, curled up on Natasha’s lap, passing out after sheer exhaustion from crying.~~~Based off this anon prompt:Bucky coming home from a date (he doesn't remember him and Steve from before) to a crying, sobbing, whimpering Steve...~~~Part Two ofwho's gonna walk you through the dark side of the morning? (it ain't me).





	and when I walk away (you take off runnin’ and come right after me)

**Author's Note:**

> Happy ending as I promised! <3  
> Any mistakes are my own. I own no one.
> 
> Also, seen as both Bucky and Steve have had the serum (even if Bucky's is different - they're both super soldiers), the serums takes care of their health, so they don't need to use condoms as they're always in fighting health and are unable to get ill. Aside from in ABO, where they do, if they're not planning for children. And if not, Steve's on the pill, though of course, that can fail too. 
> 
> This is a work of fanfiction, so please remember to stay protected, have check ups and practice safe sex! While it is your body and you can choose to do whatever you want with it, protecting yourself should always come first.

* * *

Steve was lying awake.

He should be happy. He should be glad that Bucky was back here, alive and well. But he couldn’t help it. The tears came before he could stop them. The loud sobs that fell from his lips, whimpering until all he could do was choke and shudder in his bed, clinging onto the dog tags in his hand. It had been hours. And Bucky hadn’t come back from his date. He met a pretty lady and had taken to her. Steve was happy for him. He could be happy for him. Push away his own feelings and forget about their years together. Bucky didn’t remember them. He couldn’t, could he?

“Steve, are you in –?”

Steve shrank away from the door, trying to hide under his bedcovers from his friend. She sighed sadly and walked over. Crawling into the bed beside him, Natasha pulled Steve into her arms and hugged him.

“Shh, it’s okay,” she whispered, stroking his hair, “I’ve got you. I’m here, Steve. You’re safe.” She knew all about Steve’s feelings and his nightmares. And she knew how much it was killing him to see Bucky slipping away, happier, free without him. He had got him back only to lose him to the future.

“Why doesn’t he love me?” Steve sobbed, clinging onto her tightly, “why doesn’t he want me?”

Natasha hugged him closer, hiding her own tears in his shoulder. She hated seeing him cry and the sound of his broken voice, the crestfallen look on his face and the way his eyes welled with tears, made her own heart drop. She wanted to take his pain away but she couldn’t shield him from this. She couldn’t protect him from a broken heart.

Steve fell asleep, like he did for many nights, curled up on Natasha’s lap, passing out after sheer exhaustion from crying.

*

The following week when Bucky took his new lady friend dancing, Steve crashed at Sam’s apartment and fell asleep with a bottle of Thor’s liquor in one hand and Bucky’s dog tags in the other.

The same thing happened the week after and the one after that.

Tony found Steve up on the roof, just staring up at the sky blankly until he coaxed him back inside and gave him hot chocolate, then he fell asleep on Tony’s sofa.

It wasn’t that he and Bucky weren’t close. They were but Bucky’s memories were still patchy. He didn’t remember falling in love with Steve. He remembered loving Steve as a friend, he remembered going to school with him, defending him in fights and protecting him from the cold. But he didn’t remember their heated kisses or the times they sought comfort in the warmth and heat of each other’s hands and mouths. He didn’t remember curling up with Steve at night, whispering and dreaming about a future that seemed out of reach.

*

Bucky sat in Tony’s lab a month later, while the scientist worked on his arm. “How’s the therapy going?” Tony asked slowly, like he was edging around a certain topic. He was to be fair but Bucky didn’t have to know that.

“Okay,” Bucky replied, “I’m rememberin’ more and more now.”

“Oh, T’Challa’s medication and Wanda’s magic is helping then?” Tony asked, frowning when something fell out of his grasp. He picked it up and was met with Bucky’s questioning blue eyes.

“Why do you ask?”

Tony shrugged, “just curious that’s all.”

Bucky pursed his lips and then said, “Steve spends a lot of time here.”

Tony nodded, “he stays here with me while I work. Sometimes, he crashes at Sam’s or Nat’s. He’s…never mind.”

“What?” Bucky asked, frowning. He was worried. He hadn’t seen his best friend much. Steve seemed to jump every time he walked into a room and ran from Bucky at any chance they got to speak. It was like he was avoiding him, afraid that if he got too close, then Bucky would disappear. And that’s exactly what Steve was fearing.

“He misses you,” Tony shrugged but didn’t say anything else. He cared for Steve and Steve had told him not to say anything, so he would respect his wishes.

“I miss him too,” Bucky muttered, looking down.

*

Bucky stared at himself in the mirror.

Since leaving Hydra he had bulked up, put on muscle and grown out his body, filling up all the space he could. He was stronger, faster, more skilled than ever. He never wanted to be under someone else’s control and being as agile, fast and quick on his feet as he was, ensured that. Heck, he noticed when the whole thing had gone down with Tony, that he was bigger, broader than Steve. Sure, they were level in height, but he was once again, larger than Steve.

At the time, he hadn’t known why that made him feel good. Why that had made him purr happily. He did now. The last of his memories had come back in a flash. It had happened by accident. T’Challa said that being around familiar things and people would help jog his memories. That was why he had gone dancing with a friend of Sharon’s as friends to remind himself of how free he had felt when lost in the beat of song.

He had visited Brooklyn and walked down its roads until the sounds, smells and sights came back to him, in flashes of colour and memories stitched their way back into his mind. He visited his parents’ graves and his sister, laid flowers out for them, he remembered his old school and the barbers he had Steve used to go to; they were all gone now but he could feel them. The ghosts of his past were no longer foggy and confusing, they no longer haunted him. Instead, they greeted him like an old friend.

He remembered the fourth of July and kissing Steve. Holding his hand. Falling in love with him. Spending nights with his small body curled in his arms. He remembered protecting Steve. He remembered loving those blue eyes and blond hair in ways that was not accepted in their time. Wanda said those memories came back last because he’d learnt to protect them from Hydra, burying them so far down that even he forgot to look for them.

The last of his memories came when he accidentally brushed past Steve and touched his hand. Steve had flinched and ran away from him but that was when Bucky found the ground settle beneath his feet.

He was home.

*

Steve sniffed, packing things into boxes blindly.

He needed to get away. He couldn’t stay here when Bucky didn’t know how he felt. He needed to distance himself so Bucky could be happy, free. He was so lost in his mind that he didn’t hear the knock on his bedroom door, nor did he hear it open until the person spoke.

“Stevie?”

Steve jumped and turned, wide eyed. His eyes were full of tears, his face open and broken. He didn’t know what to do, what to hide. He shrank back and made himself smaller, hoping that Bucky would just leave him alone to wallow. He choked on sobs, hands shaking as he continued throwing things into boxes, he didn’t even know what he was packing. But he couldn’t stop.

“Stevie,” Bucky said, his voice was strained, desperate, “what are you doin’?”

Steve shook his head, sniffling, “I-I’ll be g-gone soon. Get out-out of your hair.” His voice broke and his shoulders started shaking. He couldn’t see with all the tears in his eyes and he felt his knees wobble. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t breathe, live with Bucky being so near and yet so far away.

“Steve, please, hey calm down,” Bucky stepped closer, taking Steve’s hands in his own, strong and sure, “Stevie, what’s wrong? What’s happened, eh?”

Steve shook his head, hiccupping over sobs, “I-I ha-ave to go, no-ot needed here –

“Hey, yes you are. _I need you_. I want you here, what’s gotten you all worked up?” Bucky asked worriedly. He hadn’t ever seen Steve fall apart like this, not in years. Only when his mother had died. And Steve had fallen, only managing to claw his way back up into the light, into Bucky’s arms.

Bucky couldn’t let that happen again.

“N-no, you g-got your lady, don’t n-need me anymore, just takin’ u-up space,” Steve stammered, trying to move out of Bucky’s grasp to keep packing. “I n-need to go Buck –

“Baby, you don’t need to go anywhere,” Bucky said softly, cupping Steve’s face, “I remember, baby doll. There is no lady. That was Sharon’s friend, I went dancin’ and T’Challa said it would help my memories. I didn’t think to ask you ‘coz I didn’t remember, Stevie. But I do now, I have ‘em all back. My memories.”

Steve stared at him, wide eyes frightened, terrified he was going to lose Bucky with all his tears. “What?”

“It’s me, baby doll. It’s me, for real this time. I remember everythin’. I might be messed up still, I ain’t the same, Stevie,” Bucky said seriously, wiping away Steve’s tears, “but I’m here. And I love you. I love you so much, sweetheart. I love these plump lips, these blue eyes and the way you blush, all the way to your ears, like you were gettin’ spoilt with somethin’ sweet. I love your laugh and smile, you don’t do it enough. I miss it.

I remember kissin’ you, holdin’ you tight. I remember fallin’ in love with you. Arguin’ over stupid things and protectin’ you from the bullies. I remember fallin’ and everythin’ that happened after but I also remember holdin’ onto that golden mop of hair and those blue eyes to keep me sane. Stevie, if you’ll have me again, I want to be with you. Do all the things we couldn’t.”

Steve whimpered and wrapped his arms around Bucky’s neck, burying his face there, letting out his sobs into Bucky’s skin, clinging on tight. “ _Bucky_ ,” he croaked, “I love you. I love you. I lost you, I thought I’d lost you forever, I – I couldn’t _breathe_ without you, I can’t –

“Shh, shhh, I’ve got you now,” Bucky whispered, picking Steve up easily, letting the blond wrap his legs around his waist, walking them to the reading chair in Steve’s room. Bucky sat down with Steve nestled on his lap and stroked his back, kissing his tears away.

“I told you I’d find you, Stevie,” Bucky said softly, kissing Steve’s forehead. “I promised, remember?”

Steve stared at him with wide eyes, bottom lip trembling, “but that – that was a –

“A dream, I know. I had the same one,” Bucky said, nudging his nose against Steve’s, “we were in a dream land. And I said I would find you. I promised you.”

Steve sniffled and leaned in to kiss Bucky desperately, frantically. Bucky grinned against Steve’s lips and pulled him close, kissing him back with everything he had. Their lips melted against the other’s like no time had passed. It felt like coming home, Bucky smelt like soap and Steve like strawberries, their mouths fell into each other, just like their hands, breaths, touch, like they’d never left.

And Bucky carried Steve to his bed, pushing everything else off it, stripped Steve of his clothes when Steve begged for him, when he spread his legs and moaned wantonly, biting his bottom lip, all needy and sweet. “I want you,” Steve whispered between, arching his back, “please, please, oh please –

“I know, I know,” Bucky smiled and kissed him again and again, “I want you too, Stevie.”

*

And then, that’s when Bucky came home, when he was thrusting into Steve _**after** _ opening him up. That was when Bucky felt like he had landed in the future. When he felt like he was whole. When he felt the tight heat of Steve’s body, fluttering around him. When Steve wrapped his legs around his waist and whimpered, clawing at his back.

When Steve let out those broken sobs, coming between them. When he moaned, and whimpered and screamed out his pleasure. When he made himself hoarse, happy tears on his cheeks as Bucky wrung orgasm after orgasm out of him, pushing him over the edge, again and again.

It never seemed to end. Bucky’s hips flush against Steve’s ass, cock hitting his prostate over and over, rubbing against that sweet spot and Steve fell and fell, into light and warmth and heat. He couldn’t stop, coming like Bucky was pushing it out of him, with every roll of Bucky’s hips, Steve let go.

He let Bucky take him, lovingly and possessively, he let the most intimate parts of him be touched and kissed and worshipped, he fell apart and Bucky held him through it.

“Fuck,” Bucky growled in their last round, “fuck, baby, god, look at you. You get me so hot, baby doll.” He wrapped a hand around Steve’s cock and stroked him softly.

Steve whined, thrashing underneath Bucky. He was sensitive, too sensitive but _oh_ , it felt so good. “Oh, _oh_ ,” he mewled and arched his back, stomach covered with his own come, “oh, oh, Buck, _Buck_ –

“C’mon baby, you can do it,” Bucky crooned, rolling his hips fluidly, thrusting in hard one last time, pressing the head of his cock against Steve’s prostate, “come for me.”

Steve shuddered and let out a _wail_ as he came for the last time that night. He fell back against the bed, plaint and spent. He was soaring and whimpered when Bucky came inside him, right against his prostate, claiming him.

“Fuck,” Bucky said breathlessly, bracing himself over Steve, rolling his hips slowly before settling in Steve, “God, Stevie, you drive me crazy, I swear.”

Steve blushed and looked up at him and said, “I love you.”

Bucky smiled and leaned down, kissing Steve, cradling his sweetheart in his arms. “I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Any prompts for what I should write next?


End file.
